Iska Faisala INTRA Karegi

Winter Intra University moot court competition (Wintra, as we call it) is back again along with continuous assessment ( read harassment) tests to mark the end of honeymoon period of the semester.

The mooters Constitute the "cool" class of Law students while non mooters are usually treated like PG students in an NLU. The more you moot, the cooler you get.The idea of being cool for the latter category is to sleep comfortably under the blanket in their rooms.

Since the stud mooters and intra busters already get sufficient limelight and attention, I want to honor those who never let an intra season go by without sending their consent and then withdrawing it later. There's a fixed pattern that is repeated every Semester :

Step I: Send the consent mail without delay

Step II : Analyse the list of participants Top to Bottom and eliminate the non habitual mooters calling them names - "Is Ch***ye ka to nahi hoga "

Step III: Apply all the permutations and combinations that you learnt in 11th standard to anticipate your odds of getting a moot

Step IV: Imagine a trip to Amsterdam or Paris on a tourism moot and plan to buy a carton of Dunhill from the airport for the floormates

Step V: Scan through the Proposition

Step VI: Send another mail with the subject " Withdrawal of consent " at intra.nlu@gmail.com

Step VII: Get debarred from the next two intras

Step VIII: Watch Gulaal again and laugh your ass off when Ransa says : "Agar tere baap ne sahi samay pe Withdraw kar liya hota to tu har*****gi se bach jata... "

Then there are other wannabe mooters, who don't GIVE UP that easily but TAKE IT very easy.

• When wannabe mooters are deciding on whether to give intra or not, the intra busters have already made the cover page and issues from both the sides.
• While the intra busters are glued to their laptops, researching on the issues for Wintra, wannabe mooters are researching for handbags and dresses for their Valentine at Myntra
• When wannabe mooters are busy updating their status as " FML, Intras !! " on WhatsApp, the intra busters are already half way through Jessup.
• When intra busters are practicing for the oral rounds, wannabe mooters are calculating the penalty for late submission and errors.
•  When intra busters are sitting in moot allocation, wannabe mooters are taking solemn vow in their rooms of never doing the intras again.

Later they are seen accusing the unholy cartel among participants, connection with MCC members, and girl's tits for their failure.

When I was in School, I came across one sloka in my Sanskrit class which was :

आरभ्यते न खलु न विघ्नभयेन नीचैः
आरभ्य विघ्नविहिता विरमन्ति मध्याः
विघ्नैः पुनः पुनरपि प्रतिहन्यमानाः
प्रारभ्य चोत्तमजनाः  न परिजयतन्ति

It says that there are three types of men  (i) neech (lowly) (ii) madhya (average) and (iii) uttam (of high calibre). 'Neech' persons do not undertake an assignment fearing some 'vighna' (obstacles), the 'madhya type of persons after starting a job/work abandon it if they encounter any obstacle, but the 'uttam' persons after undertaking a job do not relinquish or abandon it even if they encounter problems/obstacles one after another until such time the task/job is accomplished.

 I realised that we used to fall under second category in initial semesters when we used to start at least and then submit a dummy memo. Now we have become " Neech".

Looking at everyone around me, working their asses out for intra, sleep/food deprived, putting life on hold, I wonder what will they get as a reward ? More moots to work. And maybe later a job to make unlimited memos like this 24x7 for a law firm. Is it worth It? Then I look at others, sitting in their dark rooms, listening Trance, with a glass and a burning stick rolled with malana Cream, and I say to myself "Most Obliged your 'HIGH'ness".

As the date of submission arrives, one sits in the classroom and wonders " Itna sannata kyun hai bhai" while Sharda University gets an inferiority complex because THE WORLD IS AT NLU LIBRARY.

The world is at Sharda University

 Serious candidates occupy the library as soon as the guard opens the lock and they build a huge fort around their table of all the thick books available in the library, sitting inside like those security commando's barrack at Delhi Metro stations. Those who start late are seen checking Manupatra history but to their disappointment the search results says "Stop checking other's research you fool" or has some anonymous love confessions. The seriousness of the already established mooters inside library makes you take a sutta break every now and then and every random book that they have in front of them seems to have all the cases that you cant find. They however hide that book somewhere in the library before checking out every night.

Looking at the heaped up luggage and restless crowd in and around the library, I can totally visualise Arvind Kejriwal's Janta Darbar. In his own words " Hum AAM law students hain, bohot chote log hain, Hamari koi haisiyat nahi. Humhe stud kehlane ka adhikaar hai ya nahi, Iska Faisala INTRA Karegi.

Iska Faisala Janta Karegi

You Had One Job !

Get into top NLU they said, U'll get a sure shot job they said.

Now that its almost time to be called an ex-Nluite, most of us will have to be contented with just the NLU tag. CGPA - Which is mostly achieved by doing CGPA ( Consistently Groping Professors's Arse) is the most important and probably the only criteria to determine who will enjoy his fifth year the most with no guilt and regret. I dint know that the digits in our grade card reflects the digits in our bank account in the immediate future.

This Vacation when I was glued with Zee Cinema all day, my mom asked me about the placement scenario in the University. I came up with this :-

Mayi ni Mayi, CV toh meri

Khol raha hai Daga

Jobless reh gaya , tera Dulara

Mann Daaru sang Laaga !!!

Tun tun tananananana.....

Every NLU student who doesn't get a job is doomed to face this one question from parents and relatives " Yehi karna tha to itna door jaane ki kya jaroorat thi ? Gorakhpur University kya buri thi Law ke liye ? " Thereby giving your distant cousin in Jadavpur University an intellectual high.  It is however but natural to get jealous when your batch mates and immediate seniors have a job paying more than 90K p.m while you still have to call home every month, grinning shamelessly " Haan Papa, abhi 5000 Dalwa do.., jee jee.., thik hai papa.. will call you back ( When I need more).

At this phase of life 'Civil Services' comes to the rescue. This favorite time pass of all the Indian students serves as a temporary cover to delay the extinction of  already fading dignity. Ever since your childhood, this is the safest reply to your future plans, without hurting the sentiments of your parents and relatives.

 In India, you are not considered a proper Indian unless you have an 'I' attached to your profession. We couldn't make it to IIT. IIM doesn't look feasible. IAS seems to be the only way to prove your nationality and troll your relatives. It serves as a perfect excuse as to why you did not "show much interest" in corporate job of a glorified clerk and prefer to serve Mayawati and Mulayam Instead. But then again you are answerable to your Banaras wale mausa ji " Agar yehi karna tha toh, NLU bhejne  ki kya jaroorat thi ? BHU bhi toh .....

NLU, being an elite professional University, is not seen as an educational institute but is seen more like an investment scheme that promises to multiply your deposit manifold. It is however subject to market risk and majority fails to comply with the terms and conditions thereby suffering loss. Others apply all their talent and energy in hope of getting a blowjob, rather than a proper job.

But life doesn't end in college. It is long and hard (That's what she said), and this is just the beginning. It doesn't matter who took the lead on Day Zero.What matters is, who finally turned out to be a Real Hero.

[Note: This is the my unedited post for legally India ( http://www.legallyindia.com/Blogs/final-year-blues) dated 3-2-14]