#KejriwalforVC: Is baar chalegi Daaru

Very few people know that as a back up option after Delhi polls, Kejriwal has also applied for the post of VC in NLU Jodhpur. I was fortunate enough to get an exclusive interview with the Mufflerman himself.

Me: So Arvind ji, why do you want to be the VC of NLU Jodhpur ?

Kejriwal: I never wanted to be the VC of NLU. Main toh sirf Janta ke liye yeh sab kar raha hun. When I reached Jodhpur, It  was probably the end of a semester in NLU aur Janta Sweet home Pe NLU crowd ka itna bada jan sailaab dekhkar main samajh gaya ki Janta Sandwich mein bohot takat hai. Main yeh apne liye nahi kar raha, Janta special Sandwich ke liye kar raha hun.

Me: But why did you choose NLU Jodhpur in particular ?

Kejriwal: Dekhiye ismein do baatein hain. Main Hamesha 5 saal poora karna chahta tha. Sunne mein aaya ki yeh NLU ke bacchon ko 5 saal poora nahi karne de rahe hain. Ek course ke liye bacchon ko 7-8 sal tak college mein rakha jata hai. Main toh bada surprised hua yeh dekh kar ki  kuch ko toh 8 saal ke baad bhi degree nahi dete. Isiliye main "5 Saal With Kejriwal" ka naara lekar uthar gaya maidaan mein.

 Phir yeh bhi sunne mein aaya ki students ko bohot hectic schedule diya jaata hai aur sham ko jab woh relax hone ke liye baithte hain to hostels mein raid daal kar unki bottles seize kar li jaati hain. Woh seized bottles jaati kahan hai, iska jawaab nahi diya jaata aur fine laga diya jata hai aam aadmi pe. Yehi to scam hai. Isiliye toh lad rahe hain hum log. Par ab aisa nahi hoga. Is baar Chalegi ..Daaru.. *cough**cough* I mean Jhaadu.

Me: So,what is your action plan for NLU ?

Kejriwal: Agar Muddon ki baat karein to dekhiye sabse pehle to humein har jagah se CCTV Cameras hatane honge. Gates pe, library mein, yahan tak ki R.K mess mein bhi CCTV laga rakha hai. Isse guards ko excuse mil gaya hai ki gate par outpass dena jaroori hai kyunki warden sahab dekh rahe hain. Raat ke 1 baje bhi jao, toh bolte hain warden sahab dekh rahe hain. Lekin jab permission lene room pe jao to pata chalta hai 10 baje hi so gye ! Aise to nahi chalega na ?

 
 Jagah Jagah CCTV’s hone se couples ke liye spots bhi kam ho gye hain. Hum aam aadmi hain ji, chote log hain, dabe, kuchle gareeb log hain. Humare paas har weekend Pe Park Plaza mein room book karane ke paise nahi hain. Hum to campus mein hi kabhi library mein to kabhi football field pe jo thoda bohot milta hai, usi mein khush rehte hain. Toh cameras hatana bohot jaroori hai.

Doosra, humein poore campus ko wifi banana hoga. College ka net to chalta nahi hai. Chandraveer se lekar Registrar tak sab mile hue hain. AIB Knockout dekhne ke liye bhi mujhe subah  char baje tak intezaar karna pada, tab jaake youtube chala. Kuch logon ne toh is wajah se intra se withdraw bhi kar liya. Yeh bhi sunne mein aa raha hai ki hostels mein connectify mafia chalta hai, jisse kuch log internet ka poora bandwith apne mobiles aur laptops pe kheech lete hain. Isliye sabse pehle har laptop ki jaanch honi chahiye. Aur incognito mode mein auditing ki jayegi  jisse ki sabhi ko internet barabar istemaal karne ka mauka mile.

Abhi kal mujhe ek gareeb aadmi tuck shop ke paas mila. Bola Arvind ji, aap please kabhi Lan khol ke dekhiye NLU ka. New folders bana rakha hai par andar kuch masala hi nahi hai. Bina internet ke aam aadmi aakhir kahan jayega. IIN ?

Me: According to you, what is the basic problem in the attitude of the present administration ?

Kejriwal: Sabse pehle toh humein moral policing rokni hogi. Jis tarah BJP waale bolte the vikas karenge..vikas karenge.. aur jab satta mein aa gye to ladkiyon se bola ki jeans mat pehno. Usi tarah wardens aaye, bole padhai karenge..padhai karenge.. aur girls hostel mein ghus ke bole ladkiyon Jeans pehen lo.. Aise shorts mein mat ghooma karo *cough**cough*.  BJP waale bolte hain 4 bacche paida karo..aur yahan bechare ladkon ki ek bhi girlfriend nahi ban rahi... kahan se hoga vikaas?

Phir bijli paani ki samasya hai. Top floor waalon ko ek floor neeche jaana padta hai paani bharne ke liye. Raat mein jab coke khatam ho jati hai to paani toh milana hi padta hai. Ab toh tuck shop bhi band karwa di hai aur first years bhi aankh dikhane lage hain. Ek floor neeche jaane ka mann nahi hota. Sabhi floor walon ke liye barabar paani pahuchana hamari priority hogi.

 Acchi faculty attract karne ke liye aur law firms invite karne ke liye incentive nahi dete par cctv aur faaltu ke construction mein laakhon rupaye laga dete hain. 600 logon ke college mein 4-4 mess khol rakhi hai. Kabhi kabhi toh lagta hai, National Law University nahi National Food University hai. Is wrong allocation of funds ki CBI Jaanch honi chahiye.

 Itna bada college hai, aur maine suna hostels mein generators tak nahi hain. Placement 25 logon ki bhi nahi hoti par placement fees sabse har saal lee jaati hai. Jo saara din room pe baithe CS aur DOTA khelte hain, unse bhi Gym aur sports fee vasooli jaati hai. Course material ke naam par random case laws copy paste kar ke paise barbad kiye jaate hain. Choti- choti baat par hazaron rupaye ka fine lagaya jata hai. Inko website pe saari details daalni chahiye ki janta ke paise kahan jaa rahe hain. Outpass ke chakkar mein itna paper, time aur energy waste karte hain. Outpass system turant band kiya jaana chahiye.

 Bola jaata hai ki yahan pe highest CGPA waale ko student’s representative bana diya jaata hai. Yeh kya baat hui ji? Unse pooch toh lijiye jinko woh represent karne wale hain ? Har faisala janta se pooch kar hona chahiye. Aisi bohot saari basic baatein hai jo aaj tak nahi hui. Par ab aam aadmi jaag gaya hai. Woh chup nahi baithega *cough*cough*.

Maine to bola tha Didi se ki Moot court hall mein open debate kar lete hain, Shastri ji moderate kar lenge.. Ab to auditorium bhi ban gaya hai, wahi debate kar lein par madam apna 3”D” formula repeat karti rahi : Darana, Dhamkana aur Debar karna. Iska vorodh hona chahiye ya nahi, Iska faisala main Janta Sandwich kha kar karunga. Abhi SDL mein Chanda collect karne ke liye Daaru Pe Dance with Kejriwal ka program rakha hai. Uske bad aapse baat karta hun. Dhanyawaad.