New VCLeaks: One Welcome & 40 Farewells

I always wanted to have a Batch Hoodie. But when we finally got one, it was in this era of uncertainty that may render it useless anytime. No one can predict the year of your  graduation. To be on a safer side, just get a hoodie printed “Batch of New VC”.

Gone are the days when time was expressed in terms of BC and AD. Now the determining factor is the era of OVC and NVC (old VC and new VC). Period from July 2013 NVC to November 2013 NVC witnessed the Welcome of our new VC and Farewell of 36 students ( 22 demoted, 14 debarred) and 4 faculty members. My batch had more than 100% strike rate with 6 people gone in 5 months.

In order to comprehend the new system, I tried to interview some of the staff members in the administration. Sources have revealed that Director while leaving, suggested this measure of demoting  students as a part of his strategy to curb the menace of ragging. “The high probably and constant threat of going to a junior batch will not only act as a deterrence for seniors to act over smart in front of juniors, but will also help in developing cordial relations between them ”, he explained.

I approached our new faculty Mr. Satyam Enron Bhardwaj who humbly confessed “When I came to NLU, I suggested an international student exchange program to Madam, like the one we had in NALSAR. However I could not communicate this idea properly due to my soft voice and also my laptop crashed in the middle of presentation. Madam thought I was talking about inter-batch student exchange, and she got so impressed with the idea that she issued the list of 22 students next day under this program. I tried to clarify the same but couldn't get appointment to meet madam again. My sincere apologies to all the students”. Saying this he offered his resignation.

Shocked by all this, I went to Prof Pragmatic Vyanjan’s office who was busy packing his suits and ties in a suitcase with resignation letter in his hand. He said “VC was not pleased when I asked  Poonam bhaiya to fix the Sign board I took from Subway at Sardarpura that read “ We bake our own bread” outside my office. She ordered an immediate eviction”. He said he will miss us and that he loves United States.

I was about to leave with teary eyes when Prof. American Pie barged in looking for a chair, and asked Pragmatic if he is taking his chair along with him. He too had a resignation letter on his “table”.

I tried interviewing Sir Guru Jambeshwar (aka AKS) who was busy drafting a disclaimer for his e-mail. He refused to answer any query without a 15 days notice and prior approval of the VC for the same along with signatures of all the debarred students and their parents.

I finally went to Mr. Chota  Bheem sir and asked him to say a few words for the debarred students. He instantaneously said, "You tell"! Then after exchange of uncomfortably long  smiles, he uttered a few random english Keywords and concluded by saying “thank you for your future”.

I tried talking to the VC but could only procure an appointment in 2015. “We ourselves have a waiting list of two weeks to meet her” complained the personal secretary of VC. He said that Schedule has been very hectic as Madam has to go to New Delhi every now and then to press for the Amendment in Transfer of Property Act 1882. He informed that she has recommended change in the definition of “property” to include “students” In it, thereby facilitation their “Transfer” from one batch to another. He later  suspected me to be from a political party and warned me not to politicize the matter.

If the same situation continues , there will be no teacher  left in this college and just a handful of students  attending  VC’s lecture in her car parked inside Acad Block. They will have so much time and experience inside campus that they will turn academicians and start teaching in NLU thereby getting 100 %  in-campus placement.

Lets just pray for the victims and hope we are not next. And wish them “Thank you for their future”.

Fare Thee Well