New VCleaks Part III (Diwali Special)

It’s that point of the semester again when we are calculating the cost of batch sweatshirt and the number of people who will remain with us in the batch.

Although there have been several incidents lately that called for a revolutionary protest in the college, but it was today’s notice declaring Diwali as a working day that forced me to investigate the matter in detail, one more time. I grabbed my notepad and entered the staff room to interview some of the faculty members regarding such atrocious notice.

As soon as I entered, I saw “Anand ki Tayari” Sir, smiling broadly and printing some “ Happiness is ...” quotes to be pasted in his cubicle. I wanted to note down his response so I asked “ Excuse me sir, do you have a pen ? To which he replied “ Do I really look like a guy with a PEN?” flashing his gold chain that was peeping out of top buttons of his shirt.

 I asked him how does he feel about working on Diwali, to which he waved someone from the other cubicle and said, “It’s wonderful! I prefer coming to work every day. There’s so much one can do during the working hours. I think even Sundays should be made working.” Saying this, he was lost in thoughts, smiling and saying to himself “ Me soo crazy”.

I moved further ahead to see what Sir “Suha Saha” has to say about this.

 “ Okay.. see..Isn’t it better ? Okay...Anyways we won’t be taking classes on Diwali okay,.... and then you are getting official holiday for next day..okay.. so it’s a Double Diwali Dhamaka, okay.. ! Enjoy..okay !!!” He Finished, using "okay" 98 times in total. He was later seen going out with Romas Sir, but was stopped by security guards at the gate for out passes.

I looked around the staff room to see who might share my sentiments and my eyes fell on Ms. Rashmy Jain. As soon as she saw me approaching towards her, she shouted “ I have marked you present for today, don’t worry.” I said “ No Ma’am, I just wanted to know how do you feel about today’s notice?”“I will give attendance to everyone tomorrow, No problem” She assured. Having said this, she smiled for 23 minutes and then resumed some submission work on her MacBook.

As I turned back, I bumped into “Shokeen Sir” who wished me Happy Diwali, at once. I asked him which seminar paper is he taking this year so that I can decide accordingly for my choice, to which he suggested” just sign where everyone else is signing, that’s my paper only. Also there is a lot of Diwali season sale these days. Keep an eye, It will be beneficial.” I thanked him several times and wished him Happy Diwali thrice.

Then I entered Mannu sir’s office who cracked this joke for 28^th time “ See.. on Choti diwali, I took a choti class, so on Badi Diwali I will take a Badi class” He he haha ha hue hue hue hu ha ha!...”And listen, I have invited some Alumni from Jodhpur who are coming home for Diwali, for a small Alumni meet. Please ask Ikron to make a video about it and you also help. Thanks”

As I was coming out, I saw the warden with a pile of show cause notices in his hand. I asked his reaction about today’s notice to which he replied ”yeh sab pharji kaam mat kiya karo. Ja ke padhai likhai karo, kya interview phinterview mein time waste karte ho?” As I was moving away he grabbed me by my trouser's pockets, suspecting crackers inside ” Patakha toh nahi phod raha hai na acad block mein”.

No sir. I was just.....

“Be careful! warna is baar Pharji Phine laga dunga!”

I ran away from there as fast as I could.

Later that night I saw P.A to VC coming out of office at midnight. I asked him “Sir, why so late ?” he said “ what do you mean late ? today is the full working day, not a half day holiday till 3 like on Diwali.” After a bit of informal chat he revealed that VC Ma’am gets her salary on daily basis so more the number of working days, better it is for madam and the administration.

A corrigendum mail followed the previous mail declaring tomorrow as holiday and day after as half day. All faculty members are wishing Happy Diwali on Batch IDs and Geetika J, was found upset by all these spamming on Batch ID's. Bee commented " I dont like this new notice. The font looks bad" 

Meanwhile Sanyam caterer guy was arguing with Registrar "Why is it that Joshi ji and his staff always gets holiday on Diwali while we have to serve food that night ?" A prasad ki thali came flying from Ganga mess and fell on his face.

                           Wishing a very happy and a safe Diwali to all my readers !!!!!!!!!!!

[ Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to faculty members or students is purely coincidental] 

After Party Ke Bhi After...

You can loosen your seat belts now as the beautiful journey on the Highway has reached its finishing point. One hell of a ride it was! We never slowed down, even when there were barriers ahead, we had VVIP passes, so dint even stop at the Toll Plazas, the drivers dint relax even for a second to take a nap or a Bidi break. We all wished that the long drive at NH-65 never ends. But one has to get down at their stop even if “Manjil Se Behatar Lagne Lage Yeh Raaste”

Best part was that it would’ve made our faculty members proud who could've never imagine students who always sneaked out after attendance in their classes, working so hard voluntarily without expecting any attendance or marks in return. Those students who snooze the alarm for 10 minutes at 9:00 in the morning for 8:30 class, were seen running around the campus to attend the contingents and providing them everything they need as early as five in the morning. 

Even the guards at the gates must be feeling pity about the people at the registration desk, who had to sit at one place from early morning till late evening providing answers to every query, even the ones like“breakfast mein beer milegi ?” or “Amity se sabse hot bandi kaun aayi hai?” Some requesting for  registration but refusing to produce College ID, while DJ played, “ Kehti to hai student hai but I doubt!”, in the mess arc.

After the action packed four days full of enthralling academic intellect, electrical cultural performances and crazy party every single night, I wont be surprised to see all the people involved in the fest  Dancing in the shower , Salman style with a towel held between their legs to“ Jeene ke the chaar din, Baki hain bekaar din.”

We had joy, we had fun, we lost and we won, and the party was on till we welcomed the sun.The after party this time, like always determined that the fest was a huge success. Party literally " chali thi till 6 in the morning." As Aptly described by the great philosopher YO YO honey Singh," Jab saari duniya so jati hai, after party ho jati hai, after party ke bhi after, jo chale yeh woh party hai"

All good things come to an End. We had very lovely and talented guests this time who not only made this fest a legendary success but also never complained about any inconvenience that might have occurred. Hope you had a great time here and wishing to see your participation in such big numbers and high spirits again.

I can totally imagine you saying to our contingent In-charges this morning  ” Jahan se tum mujhe laaye ho, mein wahan wapas jaana nahi chaahti,  jaha le ja rahe ho waha pahuchna nahi chahti.. Par ye rasta. ye bohot achha hai”

[Note: This is the edited version of final editorial for Highway Hues:The NH-65 Insider]