Aam Aadmi's Relationship Issues

This indeed is a season of Aam Aadmi. It has affected each and every household and everyone is talking in those terms. Today when my mom shouted angrily this cold morning “Aaj bhi tum nahi nahaye na ? aakhir kab nahaoge ? I was quick to reply “ Kal se pakka , jab 700 litre paani free hoga aur geyser ka charge 50 % less lagega.

 Excuse Level: Kejriwal :P

Seeing my interest in public service these days, a friend of mine came to me and shared that he likes a girl and that girl too is giving him hints of  “unconditional support”, and asked my advice. I told him “ dekh bhai, hum aam aadmi hain, chote aadmi hain, dabe , kuchle , bechare, single log hain. Par humare Mudde hain. There is nothing like “unconditional support”. It’s a trap.

Then I grabbed a pen and paper and made a list of 10 issues that should be clarified before entering into any kind of relationship. One copy to be sent to the girl and other to his ex- boyfriend(s).  

                   Issue 1 : VIP treatment to the girlfriend should be stopped

No Boy of Delhi, either friend zoned or committed , will give ride around the city to his girl in his car or bike.They will have to travel by metro and charges will be shared.

                  Issue 2: “ Jaanu Look at Bill “

Boys will agitate and protest against Jaanu Look at bill policy and girls will have to pay their own bill. A strong agitation and protest will be carried out to make boyfriends independent.

                 Issue 3: Re-instating Boys Raj

Power to decide on matters regarding talking on phone and meeting will be given straight to boys. They are not expected to compromise on sports or booze party to attend their girls.

           Issue 4: Friendship to be given Full Status of committed relationship

 All the friend zoned nice guys to be given the status of a committed relationship and should not be exploited under the cover of being friends.

           Issue 5: Auditing of Telephone Bills

 It will be the duty of both the parties to get tariff plans fulfilling the needs of both the parties and boys alone will not get special tariff recharge while girls giving them missed calls. Each other’s phone will be recharged on reciprocal basis.

         Issue 6: Last seen on Whatsapp

Some boys suspect that their girls say good night early but are last seen on whatsapp at a much later time. An independent friend will be appointed to look into this.

         Issue 7 :Seven Kisses a Day For Free

All boys are entitled to get at least seven kisses a day for free, without giving a gift in any form. However on exceeding seven kisses, girls can demand a chocolate or an ice-cream.

        Issue 8: Regularization of Arguments

Senseless arguments by the girls shall not be entertained and girls are expected to have some  point appealing to the reasoning of a prudent man while Arguing. Use of tears is strictly prohibited.

       Issue 9: Dates to be Dropped by 50 %

Demanding to go out on date every second day needs to be checked and focus should be on spending quality time within budget. A movie in the weekend and at max a dinner out should be more than sufficient.

      Issue 10: Anti Dumping Policy

Once the support is given, It shouldn’t be withdrawn before six months of the relationship.

Now if you are willing to support me in all the above mentioned issues , SMS " I love you " with a kissing smiley on my number and block your ex-boyfriend(s) from whatsapp and Facebook.

Don’t underestimate the power of a common man ;)

ISKA FAISALA JANTA KAREGI !

[Note: This is my unedited post for faking news ( www.my.fakingnews.firspost.com) dated 23-12-13)]